So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
