I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize