Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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