What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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