it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
