ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
