Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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