anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize