my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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