clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
