This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need water and some morals
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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