So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
