Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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