somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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