Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize