Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
