I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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