Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
