There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
