I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
