I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize