Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance