I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing