theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.