I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now