At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.