your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning