cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊