her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
