i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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