I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
