If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
