i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
