she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
