There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
