You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
