why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
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you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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