U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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