We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
