So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
