Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
