He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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