got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
