yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
