I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
