Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
try to milk me bitch
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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