wakey wakey hands off snakey
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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