theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
