I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
birth control should be required to get into college
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
