my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
