No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
