His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
