He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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