Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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