We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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