i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
