We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
