Tell her she can't have a vagina
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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