Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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