maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
