will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
