so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just google imaged poop.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.