Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
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I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
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please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.