ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
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on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
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The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet