question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...