So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.