dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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